Shared with the gracious permission of my client. 🙂
8/24/2017- I woke up just before 6am on Thursday morning. It was strong contractions that woke me up. For a few minutes I thought maybe I just had a bad stomach ache. (Which kind of makes me giggle now…I think the appropriate phrase would be “in denial”) As it turns out, I was already in active labor and transitioning for delivery. I’m blown away at my body and still processing how in the world I slept through early labor. Anyway, I made it through about 4-5 contractions before I woke Brandon up. I couldn’t make it through another one alone.
We had dropped B and J off with my in-laws the night before. The universe knew what it was doing. (The original plan was for them to go Friday evening instead of Wednesday… I’m so thankful)…. I called Diane, our midwife, our birth assistant, Jennifer, and my mom and dad, but by the time I was finishing the last call, I couldn’t contain the pain in any other way but screaming and walking. The walking was questionable. Nothing seemed to help the kind of pain I was experiencing. By this point, very little time had passed, but I was progressing so quickly. I begged Brandon to go find Diane and “GET HER HERE!” I would try to lean in to him for comfort all while I said “Don’t touch me.” This was a tough time for Brandon.
Diane arrived and she just knew. There’s no other way to describe the look. She dropped her bags and gave me everything I needed. Her voice was so calm and her support was magnificent and so solid. I knew the birth tub was no longer an option. We had started filling it up as soon as we realized labor was happening, but it was just all so fast. I leaned over on the tub crying and begging for help. I said to Diane “I can’t do this.” She said “You CAN do this. You ARE doing this.” I followed with, “Does it get worse than this?” She said “No, this is the worst, this is it, you ARE doing this.” It was the most calm phrase I’d ever heard and probably the most comforting. I kept replaying it… “YOU are doing this”
The next thing I said was “He’s coming” and in that instant, my water broke and it was time. I made it into my bedroom floor feeling like I couldn’t go one more step, but somehow, I managed to climb onto my bed all while Diane seamlessly got her equipment, our birth kit and comforting me all at once.
I was on my hands and knees in the middle of our bed. Brandon stacked some pillows in front of me to lean on for support. He was so incredible. His eyes were all the comfort, support and motivation I needed to keep going. He spoke softly to me, he held my hands, but he also said nothing and everything at once with just one look. We were doing this. My body was on auto pilot. It was incredible. Even more incredible was the resting between pushing. I have a whole new awareness/sense/respect and appreciation for my body.
One of my best friends, our photographer and also daughter to our midwife, Madlen showed up in time to capture the delivery of our sweet boy. Oh how special it was to share this with her, how much my heart swells to know she was here for me and somehow was able to capture perfect frames of this experience for us.
Jennifer, our birth assistant and also a midwife, but even more, a new friend to us, remarkably made it all the way from Dallas just in time for the birth. When you hear the short time frame, you’ll see just how awesome this is….
Everyone was here. The room was so full of intense, raw emotions. There was pain, happiness and an immense amount of love. The screams are something I don’t think I could ever mimic. I could feel our baby moving down and I knew his arrival would be soon. In some of the last pushes, I reached down and felt my baby was almost here. That was the last motivation I needed. I gave out one more big push and his head was here. 2 more pushes and he was here.
I could hear his small cry and the feeling is something I can never describe. The sense of accomplishment, happiness, love, pain…. I did it. I delivered our baby in our bedroom, surrounded by love in one of the most amazing experiences of my life. He made his entrance at 8:17 AM. Just 2 short hours after I made the initial call to Diane. It was perfect, absolutely perfect. I am elated and so in love.